How to Forgive AND Forget

We have heard the saying many times that, “It’s easier to forgive than to forget,” but the truth is that unless you are capable of forgetting you never really forgive. Forgiveness is the act of excusing someone for their offense but unless you are also willing to forget their transgression you aren’t truly forgiving them. Refusing to forget a wrong action against you results in a lingering grudge between you and the other person. Although you may have told them that you have forgiven them, the memory of their actions remains with you and creates a prejudice towards them that results in a lack of trust in the future. True forgiveness involves both forgiving and forgetting and this can be achieved by understanding your own feelings as well as those of the person who wronged you, expressing your feelings in a rational matter, realizing that your relationship is more important than being right and finally accepting your partner’s apology.

You may have been wronged in a situation and your feelings of anger may be completely justified but it’s important to truly understand your feelings in order to forgive and forget. It is imperative that you realize that the actions of the other person may have hurt you or made you angry but that reacting in a hostile manner as a result of these feelings is not beneficial to your relationship. While your feelings of hurt of anger may be justified, taking the time to work through these emotions before offering forgiveness will help you to forget your partner’s words or actions. If you rush to offer forgiveness before you have had the opportunity to vent your own frustrations it will be difficult for you to forget your partner’s wrongdoing. You also need to understand the feelings of the person who offended you. It is also important to speak to your partner about why they committed the offense against you. It is not fair to them to make assumptions about why they acted the way they did. Giving them the chance to express their side of the situation will give you a better understand of why they acted the way they did. You may learn that everything was a misunderstanding or that you were not hurt intentionally. Allowing the other person a chance to offer their take on the situation will enable you to see their motives. Understanding your own emotions as well as your partner’s will help you to really forgive and forget.

Dealing with your own emotions in a calm and rational manner is also crucial to forgiving and forgetting. Your partner may be wrong and you may be completely justified in your feelings of anger but it’s important that you not act strictly on emotion in this situation. Acting and speaking out of anger can elevate the tension in the situation and deter the forgiveness process. Give yourself a little time to manage your own feelings and collect your thoughts so that when you approach your partner you are able to speak about your feelings in a rational manner. It’s best to wait until both you and your partner are ready to speak about the conflict in a calm and rational manner. If you are truly interested in forgiving and forgetting when you have been wronged, wait until both parties have calmed down to ensure that neither one speaks out of anger and destroys the chance for true forgiveness.

A crucial aspect of forgiving and forgetting is valuing your relationship more than you value being right in an argument. While you may be completely right in a situation, being right is not worth destroying the relationship over. If you are able to put your love for your partner ahead of the vindication of being right you will be more willing to forgive and forget. Also, forgiving and forgetting will allow your relationship to continue to flourish because working through conflicts makes a relationship stronger.

Finally you can never really forgive and forget unless you are truly willing to accept your partner’s apology. Harboring feelings that the apology isn’t genuine will damage the relationship because you will never forget their offending action. Listen sincerely to your partner’s apology and have faith in them that there apology is heartfelt and genuine. Then let them know that you accept their apology and are willing to not let this situation interfere with your future interactions.

True forgiveness involves not only excusing the transgression but also effectively forgetting it as well. You can not truly forgive someone if you don’t also agree to forget the offense. Refusing to forget indicates a lack of trust in your partner to not repeat the offense. While deciding to forgive and forget is a personal matter a few suggestions for doing so are to understand your feelings as well as the feelings of your partner, taking the time to rationalize your emotions before you act on them, valuing your relationship enough to truly forgive and accepting your partner’s apology with an open heart.

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Why Most Marriages Fail

Roughly 50% of all marriages fail and many of those don’t even make it past the first year. Understanding why these marriages fail can be key to ensuring that your own marriage does not fail. Some factors that contribute to the failure of a marriage include a lack of communication or poor communication, financial issues and even the circumstances of the marriage. All of these issues can exist in a healthy and enduring marriage but if they are not dealt with properly they can lead to the failure of the marriage.

Communication is critical to the success of a marriage. Without proper communication, conflict resolution becomes a difficult issue. If the couple lacks the communication skills necessary to resolve their problems, then even the smallest problems will become insurmountable. Communication allows a relationship to grow and thrive by giving the partners an opportunity to share their dreams, concerns, hopes and desires with each other. Without sharing in this way a couple will not grow as close together as possible. Communication also gives the couple a healthy way to resolve their arguments. If one or both partners lack effective communications skills it becomes difficult to resolve arguments because the couple is not able to understand each other’s points of view. If the marriage is already in trouble, both partners in the marriage must be dedicated to working on their communication skills in order to improve or salvage their marriage. The absence of effective communication techniques can lead to the failure of a marriage.

Love may conquer all but sometimes even love isn’t enough to save a marriage when there are significant financial concerns. While financial concerns in and of themselves may not be the cause of a failed marriage the tension that financial concerns create is often the culprit in a failed marriage. Financial concerns can be a heavy burden to bear and when a couple is struggling to meet their financial obligations, there can be a tremendous amount of pressure in the relationship. This pressure may be enough to destroy an otherwise healthy marriage. If one of the partners in the marriage becomes obsessed with the marital finances they can begin to neglect other aspects of the marriage. This neglectful behavior has the affect of making the spouse feel ignored and lonely which can be damaging to a marriage. Often one of the partners will become consumed with the financial affairs and this can be very damaging to a marriage.

Even the circumstances surrounding the marriage can lead to its failure. A marriage of convenience is often not a healthy marriage. When the decision to marry is based on something other than true love, it is likely that the marriage will fair. Some examples of marriage circumstances that often lead to failure are getting married because there is a baby on the way or because the couple is feeling pressure to get married by friends and family members. Neither of these reasons are truly valid reasons for marriage and often leads to divorce. When a couple marries for reasons other than true love the marriage is often doomed before it starts. Marrying too young is another reason why many marriages fail. While the right age to marry varies greatly depending on the person, many people argue that the teens and early twenties are too early to get married. Getting married before you have had a chance to enjoy many of life’s experiences can result in resentfulness in the marriage and can be the cause of failure of the marriage.

Another reason why many marriages fail is that society no longer places importance on the institution of marriage. Today it is common for couples to live together and have children without being married. This degeneration of society devalues marriage and results in a higher percentage of failed marriages. With so little value placed on marriage in today’s society, couples are not committed to making their marriage work and are often quick to give up on the marriage and each other.

Many marriages today are doomed before they even start. Marriage is no longer seen as a necessary step in a relationship so many couples are quick to divorce without making an honest effort to resolve their problems. Communication breakdown, financial difficulties as well as circumstances of the marriage are all problems that can cause many marriages to fail.

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How to Write a Dating Site Profile

If you have made the decision to join a dating site in an attempt to find a potential match then you are probably already committed to becoming involved in a relationship. You have probably spent a great deal of time researching dating sites and deciding which one is right for you to join. Once you have decided to register with a dating site, the next step is to write and submit your profile to the site. This is very important because a well written profile will enhance your chances of making a connection. If you put care and effort into writing your profile you are more likely to receive a high volume of positive responses then you would if you just threw together a profile without much thought. Your dating site profile should be honest, well written, informative and eye catching. This type of profile will ensure that you get noticed on the dating site and that your profile stands out from all the others.

Before beginning to work on your own dating site profile, take a little time to view some of the profiles already posted. In reviewing these profiles take note of what seems to really stand out to you. If you are impressed with a profile, examine it closely and determine why you find the profile so intriguing and try to convey this same form of intrigue in your own profile without copying anything directly. Trying to incorporate methods that you found interesting in the profiles of other members will result in your profile generating interest as well. Also, if the dating site you have joined has a rating system for profiles or a log of how many times a profile has been viewed give careful consideration to profiles that are viewed frequently or have high ratings. Understanding what makes these profiles so popular will help you to write an eye catching profile for yourself. The first step to writing a successful dating site profile is to research the existing profiles of other members and figure out what works and does not work about them.

Once you have done your initial research of other profiles, it’s time to begin working on your own profile. Most dating sites offer a template for providing your profile. Before you are ready to start entering information, print out the template so that you can work on your profile away from your computer and give careful thought to your answers. Once you have created a rough draft of your profile, put it aside for a day or two and then take a look at it again and make sure everything still makes sense and that your profiles conveys the intended message. You can even take the opportunity to have a friend review your profile before you post it to the dating site. While you may be in a hurry to get your information posted, the extra time you spend preparing your profile will make your profile appear more polished than most.

Honesty is crucial to writing a successful dating site profile. You may be tempted to write a profile that is bound to attract attention but that is not exactly true but this really won’t help you to find a suitable match. Your false profile may lead to many responses but you are not likely to receive responses from those who share your interests. If you really want to attract responses from those who enjoy the same activities as you then it is important to write an accurate profile of yourself. For example it may impress those reading your profile to hear of your love of the theater, fine dining and the arts but if you are really a person who enjoys hiking and then enjoying a burger at a local diner with posters of Elvis Presley on the wall then you are not likely to find a suitable match by touting your love of the finer things in life.

Posting a picture is also very important to writing a successful dating site profile. While you may be self conscious about your appearance and hesitant to include a picture, neglecting to post one will lead people to assume the worst about your appearance. It will also make your profile not stand out as well as it would if you include a picture. Having a face to associate with the profile makes it more memorable and likely to receive a response. Choose a picture that is an accurate representation of your looks and conveys a sense of who you really are. If you are into glamour and appearance by all means use a photo of yourself where you are looking your most glamorous. There is nothing wrong with that as long as it reflects your true personality. However, if you are more of an outdoorsy and simple type choose a picture that shows your natural beauty. Don’t hesitate to include a picture with your dating site profile because profiles that do not include a photo are easily overlooked.

You can write a truly successful dating site profile. The keys to doing so are to research other successful profiles, put careful thought into writing your profile, answer questions honestly in your profile and include a picture. All of these tips will ensure that your profile stands out from the others on the dating site and that elicits the response you are looking for to your profile.

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10 Tips for Blind Dating

In many ways blind dating is no different than any other type of dating. The basic elements of dating still exist but you do need to exercise more caution in a blind date. Like any other date you want a blind date to go well so that you can ensure yourself a second date. However, while it is important to exercise caution in all types of dating it’s even more important in blind dating. Another factor unique to blind dating is getting set up with a great date. While this may not always be in your hands there are some ways that you can take some initiative in this area.

Like any date the key to a blind date is setting yourself up for a second date. Arranging a fun date and being interesting to your date are two keys to achieving a second date. In making conversation on a blind date, it is important to take an interest in what your date has to say. Doing this will let them know that you are interested in getting to know them better. Also, try speaking about subjects that you really enjoy. This will make you not only sound more natural but will also make you sound more interesting.

Dressing to impress is also critical to a blind date. In meeting someone for the first time you will want to ensure that you make a good first impression. You don’t always know how much a blind date already knows about you but it doesn’t hurt to show up for the date looking as though you have put a great deal of effort into your appearance. You’re date will appreciate the effort and be flattered by your going out of your way to impress them.

One key factor to blind dating is to exercise caution in meeting your date. Even if you are being set up by a close friend you can’t be positive that they know the person they are setting you up with very well. It’s best to set up an initial meeting in a well lit and populated location. Never agree to meet someone you don’t know at a secluded location. While your blind date may be a wonderful person with no intentions of hurting you, it’s best to exercise caution on a blind date.

Another factor unique to the blind dating situation is getting yourself set up with a great date. You may have several friends that are interested in setting you up with a friend or relative whom they think is just perfect for you but try not to agree to go on a blind date that is set up by someone who doesn’t know you very well. If they don’t know you well, then don’t trust them to choose a date for you. However, if you have a friend who does know you very well, don’t hesitate to drop hints about what you are looking for in a date. Those who know you best are most likely to set you up with a compatible blind date.

Making an honest effort to have a good time on your date is another tip that can lead to a successful blind date. If you go into a blind date with the attitude that things won’t work out, you will most likely unconsciously put a damper on the date. Your date may sense your lack of enthusiasm and in turn won’t be inspired to put an effort into having a good time either.

Another tip for blind dating is to be sure to end the date appropriately. Many people may recommend that when going on a blind date you have a backup plan in place such as having a friend call you shortly after the date starts to give you an excuse to leave if things aren’t going well but doing this just isn’t right. Instead extend your blind date the same common courtesy that you would any other date and be willing to complete the entire date. If neither party is having a good time, it’s acceptable to end the date early and just agree that you weren’t compatible but don’t be too quick to give up on the date. Also, at the conclusion of the date be honest about your feelings towards your date. If things just didn’t work out, don’t be afraid to let them know instead of offering empty promises of future dates. However, if you truly enjoyed your date, let your partner know and take the opportunity to suggest a second date.

Bringing a friend along is another tip for blind dating. This is helpful for a couple of reasons. First if your blind date had any malicious intentions towards you, having a friend along is likely to spoil his plan. Secondly a friend may be able to ease the tension and break the ice by getting the conversation started. While the addition of an extra person on a date may seem awkward, having them there can provide emotional spirit and an additional comfort level.

Even if the date is going well, another tip for blind dating is to end the date after 2-3 hours. This is an adequate amount of time for two people to get to know each other on a date and determine whether or not they would be interested in a second date. Blind dates that last longer than this often reach a point where the couple runs out of things to talk about and the date can stagnate leaving a negative feeling at the end of the date. Keeping the date short can help you to end the date on a positive note and will leave you with more to talk about on a second date.

Being yourself is important on any date but it’s critical on a blind date. A blind date deals with someone who does not know you so it’s important to give them a true sense of yourself on your date. You may get away with pretending to be something you are not on the first date but it may lead to trouble in future dates as your date realizes you were phony on the first date.

Finally, treat your blind date with the same courtesy that you would any other date. You may not know the person you are dating but it is important to arrive on time, be polite and put an honest effort into the date. Your blind date is just as deserving of these courtesies as any other person you have dated. A blind date is no excuse to let your manners lapse and mistreat your date.

For the most part blind dating does not differ from any other dating situation. However, there are a few things unique to blind dating of which you should be aware. Most importantly it is critical that you not put yourself in danger by agreeing to meet a blind date in a secluded location. Another unique aspect of the blind date is that you are often set up by a friend or family member so you have the opportunity to learn what they think would be a suitable match for you. Beyond the specifics related to blind dating, the rules of regular dating still hold true. If you are polite, genuine, fun and interested in your date you will be likely to score a second date.

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Need a Good Online Wedding Resource? Try the Wedding Channel

Having the most up-to-date wedding information at your fingertips is essential. Long gone are the days when you had to drive all over town searching for a list of items. You will undoubtedly use the Internet to obtain wedding information quickly. While there are many websites that offer wedding information, the Wedding Channel is one of the more trusted sources for information. What makes the Wedding Channel such a good source? Let's take a look.

It's true that the Internet is a valuable resource for just about any kind of information you need. However, not all websites provide information that you can use. The information that is available is often duplicated and not about something new and innovative. In some instances you will have to research several websites to find the information you need. The Wedding Channel features articles about the most current topics in wedding planning. Most of the articles that are available on the Wedding Channel are written by industry professionals, so you can rest assured that the articles contain information you can use.

The articles that are available on the Wedding Channel are categorized so that you can easily locate what you need. Whether you need ideas for decorating your wedding venue or tools for planning your ceremony, the Wedding Channel can help. There is also a search function that enables you to search for a keyword throughout the entire website. There is also a directory featuring professionals who can assist you with your wedding. The directory is organized according to regions, so you simply select your region and the search returns a list of wedding vendors in your area. If you need to show someone the list, the results page contains an e-mail feature so that you can easily forward the list.

Who doesn't enjoy getting extras? The Wedding Channel partners with some of the largest retail shops including Tiffany and Company, Bloomingdale's, Pottery Barn, and Neiman Marcus, as well as hotels. There are opportunities on the Wedding Channel for you to win prizes through some of these partners. You can also register with these shops at the Wedding Channel website. In addition to obtaining special deals from the Wedding Channel, you can also manage all the registries that you have already setup. You will need to register with the Wedding Channel website and then log in to view your personal information. There is also a wedding registry guide in this area of the Wedding Channel to assist you.

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