Don’t Just SAY You’re Sorry – Prove It

The words, “I’m sorry” can get us out of trouble when we’ve done something wrong or hurt someone we care about but the key to a good apology is really meaning it and convincing the other person that you are truly remorseful. Apologizing just for the sake of keeping the peace is not an effective way to apologize. In doing so the recipient of the apology will most likely see through you and realize that your apology is insincere. A sincere and well timed apology, however, will help to mend the relationship that was harmed by your words or actions.

The most important way to prove that you are truly sorry for hurting someone is to ensure that the hurtful action is not repeated. Apologizing over and over while continuing to make the same mistake shows that your apology is not really sincere. On the other hand if you really mean that you are sorry for an action you will take careful steps not to repeat this action. Apologizing for your actions is one thing but being cautious not to repeat your actions really proves that you are indeed sorry.

Being specific regarding the reason for your apology also really proves that you are sorry. Many people are quick to offer an apology when they realize someone is upset with them but often they don’t take the time to figure out why the other person is upset. Apologizing without stating the reason for the apology shows that you don’t understand the problem and that you aren’t sincere in your apology. This is not an effective way to make an apology. However, if you offer a specific reason for your apology you are proving that you understand what you did to hurt the other person and that do not want to repeat that action.

Another way to prove that your apology is authentic is to be sure to offer the apology in person. Having a third party speak to the person you have offended or apologizing via email or voice mail conveys a lack of caring. This kind of apology shows that you aren’t truly sorry for your actions. Meeting with the person face to face to have a sincere conversation and offer your apology is one way to really prove that you are sorry. It shows that you care enough about the other person to meet with them directly to try to make amends for your contributions to the disagreement.

In apologizing, if you want to prove that you really mean it, be careful not to place blame on the person you are apologizing to. Your apology is about telling the other person why you believe that you did something wrong. While they may have contributed to the situation, now is not the time to point out their faults. Instead take full responsibility for what you have done wrong. Accepting full responsibility for your actions and apologizing for them without placing blame on the other person will prove that your apology is sincere.

A genuine apology will also include telling the other person why your actions were wrong and how you intend to avoid hurting them in the future. Doing this proves to them not only that you understand you were wrong but that you understand why you were wrong. It also lets them know that you have already formulated a plan of action to ensure that this situation does not arise in the future.

The timing of your apology can also help to prove that you really are sorry. Waiting too long to apologize may show that you don’t really care and that you are simply apologizing as an afterthought. An apology that is made too early may risk being ignored because the recipient of the apology is still too upset to listen to what you are saying. It’s important to give the other person a chance to vent their anger and calm down before rushing to apologize. After a reasonable amount of time approach them and let them know that you understand their anger and believe that it is justified and that you wanted to give them a chance to calm down before apologizing.
Sometimes it is not enough to simply apologize for your words or actions. It is often necessary to not only apologize but to also prove that your apology is sincere. A truly sincere apology proves that you are sorry by addressing the issue and acknowledging what you have done wrong while validating the other person’s right to be angry and addressing how you will avoid similar actions in the future.

Print

Non-Denominational or Mixed Religion Weddings

Couples of mixed religions or who come from families that do not have a strong religious background may choose to have either a non-denominational wedding or a wedding that blends two separate religions. This can be tricky however because many religions may not honor or recognize a wedding unless it is performed according to their own unique guidelines. For this reason it is very important to check with potential officiants and church leaders to ensure that your wedding plans will result in a union that is recognized by both churches. This is significant because you would not want to invest time and money on a marriage that will wind up not being recognized by the church and possibly not even recognized by the government. Whether a couple decides to have a non-denominational wedding, incorporate aspects of both religion into a ceremony that will not be recognized by either faith or participate in two separate religious ceremonies, it is important to remember that their love for each other and their love of their faith are equally important.

If both the bride and the groom have very strong faith backgrounds and wish to have their wedding recognized by their respective churches, they may have to take a few extra steps to ensure that their union is recognized by their churches. Sometimes the only way to do this is to have a wedding ceremony in both churches. This may seem like an unnecessary step but one of the defining criteria of having your marriage recognized by your faith, for many religions, is to have your wedding ceremony in the church. It is simply not possible to do this unless the couple takes the extra steps of having two wedding ceremonies to ensure that they will be both be accepted as a married couple into their faiths.

Another alternative to participating in two separate ceremonies in order to have the union recognized by both churches is to have a non-denominational wedding that is only recognized by the government. Couples may choose this option if they do not have the time or money that would be required to have two separate wedding ceremonies. A couple may choose a compromise that results in neither church recognizing the union. The theory behind this type of choice is that the couple decides that their love for each other is strong enough to survive and that they do not need to have the approval of their churches in order to have a successful and lasting marriage.

Still another alternative is to have a non-denominational wedding ceremony at a location in a natural setting. At this type of ceremony the couple has no restrictions and can choose to incorporate either religion into the ceremony in any way that they see fit. They may do this by using traditional prayers and religious songs during the ceremony. While this type of ceremony will not be recognized by the church is does offer the couple the opportunity to incorporate some of the religious traditions of both of their faiths into a beautiful ceremony that successfully blends two religions.

A final alternative is to incorporate one faith fully into the wedding ceremony and incorporate the other faith fully into the wedding reception. This option results in the marriage being recognized by one of the religions but does not allow the other family to feel neglected because their faith is well represented in the traditional activities of the wedding reception. This option is only feasible if the member of the couple who will not have their church recognize the union, is completely accepting and understand of this fact. This is important because the resentment and jealousy that could result from this could be very detrimental to the couple.

Inter-faith couples are on the rise. Years ago it was unheard of to marry someone outside of your faith but this is no longer true and many couples today are inter-faith couples. It is difficult but not impossible to integrate the two faiths in a way that is satisfactory to all of those involved. While the faiths can be blended to create a beautiful wedding, the problem is that many churches will not accept this blended wedding as a union. Sometimes the couple decides that their happiness together is more important than having the church recognize the union so they opt for a non-denominational wedding that is completely devoid of any religious traditions.

Print

TIPS ON HOW TO NAME YOUR BABY BOY

Are you excited on becoming a soon to be parent? Are you having problems in thinking on how to name your child? For a baby boy, what are your choices? What factors do you consider in choosing the name of your future baby boy? In choosing a name for him, are you the type that decides on a name that first comes to your mind? Are you the type who thinks for a minute or so and then presto, you have a name of your child.

Naming your baby boy may not be as easy as that. What you name your boy can sometimes have a big effect on his life. There are some things you have to prepare for and be aware of while finding the right name for your child.

Searching for your baby's name can also be fun especially if it’s your first born baby that you are looking a name for. Whether you're seeking a name for your soon-to-be baby boy or baby girl, sometimes you are considering the popularity of your own first name. Sometimes you can search for name ideas from names that are considered to be on the top 100 hot baby names list.

Some parents have a penchant for biblical names. For example, they want to name their baby after Matthew, Mark, John etc. Others get to name their baby boy after their ancestors or after their favorite family members. Sometimes they try to combine a couple of names to make it sound more catchy and interesting.

Some parents also consider naming their babies to the date their child was born. For example, if the child was born on December 25, many a parent would likely name their baby Emmanuel. Parents can also name their baby based on the popularity of a person. They can name their baby after a movie star, favorite writer, or a famous person.

In naming a baby, there are many other points parents should consider besides how popular or unique a name is. Here are some helpful tips that parents like you can use in choosing a name for the new baby and to make the process more fun and exciting:

1. Try to observe the initials of the name that you will be giving your child. For example, naming the child Dan Oscar Gordon would make his initials may come out as D.O.G. Wouldn’t it be a put down on him? It can be frustrating overlooking such a simple thing as giving your child this kind of name even though you did not mean it.

2. Try to avoid choosing a baby name that can be unusual and out of this world. Other kids may make fun of your child in school that will result to humiliation. Always consider the welfare of your child in finding a name for him and not in your own interest.

3. You can also choose a name which can sound funny and trendy.

4. Be careful not to pick a name that's really cute for an adorable little baby but would sound silly when your child grows up. (For example, avoid using names like Dimples or Cutie Pie as much as possible.)

5. Be careful also not to choose a name that is very hard to spell or pronounce. People will almost always get it wrong so your child might have a lot of difficulty explaining it to them over and over again.

Print

The Perfect Wedding Dress

Many brides begin dreaming about the perfect wedding dress long before they are even engaged. Choosing the perfect wedding dress is critical because it is the one day that all eyes will be on you. A dress that is beautiful without being too ostentatious and is also flattering to your figure will ensure that you are looking your best on your wedding day. With so many style, color and fabric options available, choosing the perfect wedding dress can be a difficult task but fortunately most brides simply know when they have found the perfect wedding dress. From the moment they put on the dress, their gut instinct tells them that this is the perfect wedding dress for them.

The most important piece of advice for shopping for the perfect wedding dress is to begin shopping for your dress at least six months before your wedding date. Finding the perfect dress can take quite a bit of time and once you find the dress, it may take up to four months for the dress to be ordered and shipped to the store. Then once the dress arrives in the store you may require several fittings to ensure that the dress fits you perfectly. You will want to take your time and enjoy shopping for your wedding dress so it is important to begin the process early so that you avoid feeling rushed and overwhelmed.

Another worthwhile piece of advice for finding the perfect wedding dress is to try on many different styles of dresses. Even though you may be convinced that you want a particular style you may find that the style that looks so appealing in magazines does not suit your body type. You may also find that a style that you would have never chosen can be flattering to your figure. For this reason it is important to try on a wide variety of styles before ruling out any particular style. The old saying, “you won’t know unless you try it,” holds true for wedding dresses. There have been countless brides who have found that their perfect wedding dress turned out to be significantly different from the one that they had pictured in their mind.

Although it may sound counterintuitive, the color of the wedding dress is an important consideration in choosing the perfect wedding dress. Many people think that the only acceptable color for a wedding dress is a pure white but if you are open to other options, you may find yourself in a wedding dress that is far more flattering to your skin tone than a pure white dress. Wedding dresses come in a multitude of colors including ivory, cream and even subtle beiges. If you are willing to consider these options it is important to try on dresses in these colors to see how they work with your complexion.

Choosing the perfect wedding dress sometimes requires reinforcements. Having a few trusted friends or family members come dress shopping with you can help you find the dress of your dreams. They can offer opinions on each dress that you try on and can also scour the countless racks of dresses available and choose dresses for you to try on. Many brides instantly know that they have chosen the perfect wedding dress the moment they put on the dress but having trusted friends and family members along can confirm this feeling. The moment you step out of the dressing room and reveal the dress you are wearing you may see instant confirmation that this is the perfect dress. The reactions of your assistants will indicate that you have found the perfect dress.

When you have found the perfect wedding dress, you will know it so now is also the time to buy the dress. Nothing is more important than your gut feeling and the reactions of your shopping partners so if you know you have the perfect dress in your hands, don’t risk losing the dress by opting to think about it for a few days before you make your purchase. There is always the chance that the last available dress will be sold or that the company will discontinue the dress so do not allow yourself to miss out on buying the perfect wedding dress by not buying it the moment you realize it is the dress for you.

The wedding dress is a critical element in a wedding. It is what makes a bride truly stand out and it is important for the bride to ensure that she has chosen the perfect wedding dress. The minute a future bride steps into a wedding dress she will know instantly whether or not it is the perfect dress. It’s important to trust this gut reaction and act accordingly in choosing the perfect wedding dress.

Print

How to Become a Better Listener

Listening is an integral part of the communication process but it is also the part that is overlooked most frequently. Many people spend a great deal of time polishing their speaking skills but put little or no effort into becoming a better listener. The art of listening really isn’t very difficult and you can improve your listening skills in just a few simple steps.

Perhaps the most important tip for being a better listener is to give the speaker your undivided attention. Be sure to concentrate on the speakers words and resist the temptations to tune out their message. While speaking on the phone many people participate in other activities such as checking email, reading newspapers and other activities that distract from the conversation. Even in a face to face situation many listeners zone out by either thinking about their response to the speaker or daydreaming about something completely off topic. By allowing yourself to be distracted, you are not listening as well as you could be. Even just a small amount of distraction could result in you missing a critical point of the speaker’s presentation. Focusing 100% on the speaker, however, will ensure that you are listening well and taking in all of the pertinent information.

Part of being a good listener is making sure that everything you hear comes directly from the speaker and not from your interpretation of their words. This means that as the speaker is talking, listen to the words as they are being spoken instead of trying to guess the point that the speaker is trying to make. Many people are guilty of jumping to conclusions this way and this hurts their listening ability. People who do this often don’t hear the speaker’s message because it is blocked out by their own assumptions. Good listeners take in information as the words are spoken instead of thinking ahead and forming their own conclusions.

Creating mental images of the speaker’s words is another way to become a better listener. This visualization process allows you to really comprehend the words you are hearing. Visualization techniques can enhance the way that people process information. These mental images will help you to retain the information you have just heard and this enhanced comprehension makes you a better listener.

Asking questions that relate to the speaker’s presentation can also help you to become a better listener. It’s important to ask questions without allowing the formulation of the questions to interfere with your listening. If you latch onto one of the speaker’s key points and spend the rest of the conversation thinking up a question you will miss a lot of information. However, if you ask your questions immediately when they arise, you can have them answered in the context of the presentation without having it affect your listening abilities. Asking questions is an important part of listening because it lets the speaker know that you are following what he is saying and that you are interested in learning more about the topic.

Being mindful of your body language is another way to be a good listener. Be sure to not engage in body language that tells the speaker that you are not interested in their words. Crossing your arms, avoiding eye contact and wincing are all ways that you can send a message to a speaker that you are not listening carefully to them. These mannerisms can result in the conversation being cut short because the speaker does not feel you are interested in what they are saying.

Practicing your listening skills is another way to become a better listener. Make a conscientious effort to apply your listening skills each time you speak to someone or attend a presentation. You can practice your listening skills by remaining completely focused on the conversation or presentation, not trying to guess what the speaker is about to say, creating mental images of the spoken words and asking pertinent questions to affirm what you have just heard. Each time you have the opportunity to listen try to work on these elements.

While listening skills are not as widely practiced as speaking skills, they are just as important to a conversation. Being a good listener will not only ensure that you are receiving information but will affirm to the speaker that you care about the information being presented and that you understand their message.

Print
Rodney's 404 Handler Plugin plugged in.